Just Don't

Don’t let it bother you.

Don’t take it so personally.

Don’t be hurt.

Don’t feel.

Don’t overreact

Don’t be like that

Don’t be so stubborn

Don’t be a bitch

Don’t be so emotional

Don’t be so unreasonable

Don’t be a doormat

Don’t let others talk to you like that

Don’t censor yourself

Don’t acquiesce.

Don’t talk back

Don’t correct me

Don’t contradict me

Don’t make me uncomfortable

Don’t challenge my sensibilities

Don’t defy me

Don’t rock the boat

Don’t accept the status quo

Don’t be such a baby

Don’t talk like that

Don’t hold a grudge

Don’t act like that

Don’t dress like that

Don’t drink like that

Don’t look at me like that

Don’t let others tell you what to do

Don’t.

I won’t.

That, Ladies and Gentlemen, Is How You Win Elections.

What are we doing to each other?

I'm in the midst of Emotional Burnout. How about you?  How are you feeling?

The holidays are difficult for more people. I don't know if it's actually harder for those of us with mental illnesses because I can't remember a time in my adult life when I wasn't in that category.  I look forward to quiet solitude of Yule. I try to spend the day in reflection and it's even better if my friends can gather to celebrate that evening.  Christmas Eve in the past had been an open house party at my aunt and uncle's home.  It's a lot of fun-- friends and neighbors come and go all night. There's music and fabulous food and a visit from Santa.  My poor aunt is usually half-dead the next day (because the women in my family, including me, have NO concept of "enough") but it's always an incredible celebration.  However, I've been missing it. The last time I participated was just a few months after my breakdown.  I know I went, but I don't remember any of it. After we were married, my Christmas Eve changed a bit. Instead of partying at my aunt's and the rest of Fairfield County, CT, our (adult) kids have been coming over to spend the evening together and alone.  As much as I miss going to the party, I enjoy this new tradition. We play music and work on a 1000 piece puzzle as a family. It's a great time to reconnect for more than a span of a quick dinner visit. Nuclear Family Time.  I look forward to spending time with them like that.

As I get my shopping and baking and decorating and donating duties together, I can't get into the spirit of the season.  Peace on Earth? Good will toward men?  Where?  Certainly not here in America.

I hate political campaigns. There's never a candidate that seems ideal to me. I want someone who shares my values but understands that not all personal beliefs should be law. It would be nice but it's not in the alignment with what our American Values are "supposed to be": the Freedom to live as each sees fit.  This year, the amount of hate being spewed is disgraceful and dangerous. I honestly have no idea if it's worse than usual, but I'm very aware of it this time.

I hear our potential Presidential candidates and I remember two specific quotes from The American President.

"They don't have a choice! Bob Rumson is the only one doing the talking! People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absence of genuine leadership, they'll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand."  "Lewis, we've had presidents who were beloved, who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty. They drink the sand because they don't know the difference."

We're drinking a LOT of sand lately. Maybe we should choke on it.  Maybe that's the only way to get past the hate.

"We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections".

 Let's read part of that one again. "... making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections".

We live with real threats every day. We should take steps to protect ourselves. We should also step back and reexamine our fears. I have to do this on a daily basis. OCD is the "doubting disease". Couple that with crippling anxiety and I'm useless.  I'm learning to ask "what am I afraid of" and "is the magnitude of fear justifiable".  When a fear is raw, I get caught up in reasoning what is possible versus probable.   The formula is rather simple: "the stereotype of x does not equal always y."  Learning to believe it is different.

Just think about it. If a subject gets you riled up, stop and think about why.  Is your why real? Is it exaggerated?  If you feel your answer is simple, I can guarantee you haven't examined it. 

Peace on Earth.

Good will toward all.