Walk This Way

One of the side effects of therapy is I see more than just my issues in a new light. It's not always a great experience. Whether or not these new discoveries are more accurate than my previous position, they can never been fully dismissed again.  Maybe that's also a side effect of having OCD.  Either way, the kaleidoscope spins and the pattern is never the same.

Of course therapy is only one way to change your thinking. The positive part of this is that it's voluntary.  You have to do the work in your sessions to get insight. Insight has been explained to me as the understanding reasons you've been intellectualizing-- the difference between "knowing" something and "feeling" it. Insight is the goal in therapy; once you've gained it in relation to your problems, you can learn to deal with them better.  It's not a cure. It's the step necessary to loosen the vise grip your mind has on your issues.

Life in general changes your perception but this is a much more gradual and unconscious method that is usually based on emotion rather than fact. We let our emotions twist what we see into what we want to believe. It's dangerous because we are entirely too susceptible to manipulation and none of us wants to believe that.

Society shrieks at the thought of manipulation without seeing the subtle influence of just about everything around us. Once we start to see it, we push it away with all our strength because we've been conditioned to believe Being Wrong is a Fate Worse Than DEATH. It all starts with that confident response we all have: "I'm not being manipulated."

Sad truth:  we all are. I'm not sure how to find the balance between healthy awareness and paranoia. I seem to always take things to extremes. (Cue Billy Joel...)

 I rolled my eyes at all the hot topics that would obviously lead to the end of the world. Video games are too violent!! Explicit lyrics!! Sex on TV!!  BARBIE!!!!  Honestly? I never gave a conscious thought to Barbie's measurements. At 5 years old I was singing Roxanne without understanding a word of it and at 12 I was rapping along with Run DMC's cover of Walk This Way still completely oblivious.  I listen to the lyrics now and wonder why my pre-teen self wasn't chewing on a bar of Ivory soap. Did this cause me harm?  I don't think so, but I can't be sure because there isn't a control group for my life. Surely we were taking it all too seriously and if we just raise our kids right then what they watch/listen/play/see/read wouldn't have a negative effect. There's truth to that... except parents are just as venerable to desensitization as the kids are. What we watch, listen to, and read all plays a role in who we are, whether we realize it or not. I don't advocate for stricter control over the media we consume-- though I'm a big fan of Content Warnings--- but I do think we need to be sure to discuss both the positive and negative influences. Why is the cast mostly white?  Male?  Females are only thin, gorgeous and rarely in charge? People of Color are the criminals?  POC who are not criminals had to overcome a rough youth?  Is it really ok to torture a suspect?  Do the ends really justify the means? If you think that's overboard or think that's political correctness gone mad, these discussions are how to raise your kids right.

Yes, this can all be taken too far.  There aren't government conspiracies hidden on a chewing gum wrapper, though I'm sure some conspiracies are true.  The person following you in the parking lot probably is just parked nearby, but be ready to defend yourself anyway.  And, more often than not, a homemade clock is just a clock.